Leadership start from home
Abraham Lincoln once said, “The strength of our nation lies in the homes of its people while the strength of the home lies in the moral fabric sewn by the father”. True then, true today, but a permissive society and waning cultural standards have waged spiritual battle against the father, our marriages, children and even our nation, undermining the family and jeopardizing America’s future.
Christian families today are plagued with spiritual anorexia. They are starving to death from spiritual malnutrition. They are not getting the milk 1Peter 2:2 speaks of, but drink gallons of the powdered secular poison Satan has left there for the taking. It comes in many forms: materialism, TV, everybody is doing it, people pleasing, and overall conforming to this world. (See Romans 12:2 for the antidote.)
Come with me back some 30 years, as a boy sits at his grandfather’s funeral. I remember the tears of loss my aunts’ shed. I remember the pain death brought for those of us who did not know the Lord then. But there was one memory etched in my twelve-year old mind that I will never forget. It was watching my Dad and his emotional strength. He lifted and carried the family even though he just lost his dad. He carried us on his shoulders. He was strong. He was caring. He was a father.
I remember ten years later watching again, as the tragedy this time involved the loss of a large sum of money. As creditor after creditor called, he took the phone and spoke to all of them, knowing fully well there was no money. He taught me it’s always better to step up than run away. He said, “When you run away from life, it has a way of running after you harder.” What courage I thought. I hoped to be like him when I grew up. He was a father.
Little did I know then that my Dad’s impressive emotional strength was a metaphor of the incredible spiritual strength of a father – a visual symbol of an invisible reality! Like no other person, a father possesses a special power to mold and shape the life of another. All of the basic concepts of character flow from this person’s life. Esteem. Principles. Identity. When you think about fatherhood you realize there are few things more powerful.
Children have to know what they are made off and where they come from. Boys especially need affirmation that they have what it takes to be a man. This can only come from a father type. True masculinity can only be given to a boy from a man. Christ-likeness and manhood are synonymous, as the love and servant leadership of our Lord must be at the core of fatherhood.
Even if you don’t have children of your own, you can still father. Fathering has only a little to do with biology. At its heart, it has every thing to do with influencing, shaping and affirming. I believe that at the very root of every man there is a father in the soul. There are young people all over looking for this.
My wife and I have fought the good fight of parenting now for 15 years. Christian parents that love and serve the Lord. Parents that read the right books and quote the right Bible verses to our kids. Just this past Saturday, I hosted our God4me Ministries men’s event, “A Man of Character in a World of Compromise”. I had my thirteen-year-old son there. Having my son hear from godly men, made me feel pretty good about myself as a Christian father.
But as with many aspects of my walk with the Lord, that feeling lasted about 24 hours till about mid-way into Sunday Worship Service. By the way, did you know that seventy-five percent of churchgoers today attended church as a child? And when a father is an active believer there is a 75% likelihood that his children will also become active believers. But when the mother is the only believer, this likelihood drops dramatically to just 15%. (Back to Sunday Service). The Pastor was rolling and the presence of God was powerful as communion was served. The thing that broke my peace was seeing my eleven-year-old son make communion wafer sandwiches, only to be topped by my thirteen year-old son turning the paper bulletin into flying airplanes.
When it comes to fathering, the words embarrassment and failure continually leap to my mind. The incredible inadequacy I sometimes feel towards fathering has brought me to the Lord more than I care to admit. Fathering my thirteen-year-old daughter has brought incredible joy, only to be matched by the overwhelming fear that accompanies parenting a beautiful teenage girl. (She looks like her mother). Being a father has brought me to depths of confusion that I rarely experienced even as a heathen. The effort I make, as my kids fight for Disney over devotion, is draining.
As director of God4me Ministries, I struggle daily with the temptation of putting my service for the Lord ahead of being a father. I have learned that my service to Him is not enough to compensate for failure at fathering. Being mentored and reading Scripture has helped me tremendously. (Read 1 Samuel Chapters. 2-8 about the Priest Eli & the Prophet Samuel’s failure with their kids. It’s scary.)
The famous advertisement “It’s all about the beer” is a lie. It’s all about a man at the bedside of his children, leading in devotion and prayer. It’s all about a man leading his family to the house of God. It’s about a man up early and alone with God seeking vision and direction for the family.
One of the greatest words regarding fathering came from our president, George W. Bush. After being asked what was the one thing he remembered most about his father, George Bush Sr., he replied swiftly and with out hesitation. The President said, “My father showed me such unconditional love that he allowed me the freedom to fail. I was free to try and be loved no matter what the results.”
How about you? Have you been loved unconditionally by a father or another man? If yes, you are blessed. If not, you’re still blessed. Why? It is because that love is there for you, in the form of Jesus Christ, the father to the fatherless.